Life after....LIFE

For six years, university was my LIFE. Getting there, loan rejections, getting through (in the allocated 4 yrs, dont get twisted it didn't take six years to get through ni, lol) moving countries and then house FOUR TIMES IN FOUR YEARS, the disappointments and realisations about peolpe, places and myself were absolutely everything, now it’s over.

I finished University (sat my final exam) on Thursday, May 31st. I started feeling useles some time between Sunday and Monday after, so say, exactly two days of excitement and FREEDOM!!!!!!!! Then the crash. WTF is that?! All I wanted when I was neck deep in coursewok was a holiday and now I have it, I’m freaking out!!!!!!! I cannot relax!!!!!

Do you know why I’m freaking out? Becuse I’m me. Because I’m in a foreign country, on a visa with a dealine. Working out ways to extend it have dealines on them as well so in essence, I’ve gone from academic deadline to flipping life-altering deadline. I’m freaking out because my part-time position has been in a bad way since the entrance of a new manager but I was able to ignore it because uni kept me seriously occupied and acted as a set of blinders (read ‘excuses’) to justify my £0.00 bank balance.

Now it feels like it’s D-day every day, like I should be doing things, big important things, but do I not deserve some time off? I do. I know I do so why can’t I just relax and take the time. I literally have 24 hrs, everyday, during which I’m obligated to do absolutley nothing but wake up or at least keep breathing so people know I’m still in the land of the living and do somethnig around the house to keep the peace (u know how folk get when u get lazy round the house, parents and otherwise, sh*t can get real, real fast, lol).

Welcome to the life of a control freak with nothing to control….(help!)